


I've Got You

by Gertrude_Perkins



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, M/M, Robert-centric!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 08:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16719849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gertrude_Perkins/pseuds/Gertrude_Perkins
Summary: Robert confides in Vanessa when she asks how he's coping without Seb.





	I've Got You

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quickie I churned out this evening! Prompted by me wanting to hear more of Robert's feelings on Seb leaving.

The car coming down Emmerdale High Street was going too fast as it approached Robert. At the same time as catching sight of the car, he saw little Johnny Woodfield toddle off the pavement and into the road. Robert reacted without thinking. He dropped the coffee he was holding, dashed forwards and grabbed Johnny just before the car sped past.

 

‘Slow down yer idiot…’ Robert yelled after it. 

 

‘Oh my God… Johnny…’ Vanessa ran up to them, her face white with fear. ‘Are you ok?’ she cried, pulling Johnny into a tight hug.

 

‘He’s fine,’ Robert said, getting his breath back. ‘That idiot was driving too fast…’

 

‘He ran out of the house while I was on the phone,’ Vanessa cried, stroking Johnny’s hair. ‘I must have left it unlocked… Oh Robert, thank you so much, he could’ve been hit by that car…’

 

‘It’s ok,’ Robert said. ‘He’s fine… shame about my coffee though…’ he looked at the mess he’d made on the pavement, spilled coffee all over the place.

 

‘Let me get you a coffee then,’ Vanessa said. ‘Come to mine and I’ll make you one, to say thanks.’

 

Robert was about to protest that there was no need for that, but he really had been looking forward to his Americano. And he had a few minutes to spare, so why not? He nodded and followed Vanessa into her little living room.

 

Vanessa settled Johnny at a little table in the corner with a pot of crayons and some colouring, then she went to put the kettle on.

 

‘God, I feel terrible,’ she said, ‘I should have closed the front door properly, and kept a better eye on him… you must think I’m a terrible mother…’

 

Robert scoffed. ‘Don’t be stupid,’ he said. ‘Of course not. It’s easy to get distracted and kids can be little buggers, I know that…’

 

He sighed. A few weeks ago, Seb had still been here, and Robert had imagined he and Aaron would be looking after him as he started walking and talking and getting into mischief. They’d started thinking about babyproofing the Mill for when he got older. He supposed they’d still do it for when Seb came to visit, but it wasn’t the same as him living there.

 

‘Are you ok?’ Vanessa put a mug of black coffee in front of Robert, along with a cup of tea for herself. She sat on the sofa opposite him. 

 

Robert tried to pull himself together. ‘Yeah, course…’ he said. 

 

‘How are you managing… with Seb being with Rebecca and Ross now?’ Vanessa went on, as if she’d read his mind.

 

Robert looked up at her. She smiled sympathetically.

 

‘It’s fine…’ he started to say, but his heart wasn’t in the lie. ‘We just… we’d got so used to him being with us, you know? He was part of our family, and …. it’s so hard to…’

 

He stopped. There was a lump in his throat that seemed to be stopping him from speaking. Robert was embarrassed to feel tears pricking his eyes, and he swallowed hard and swiped at them with the back of his sleeve.

 

Vanessa wasn’t fooled though. She reached behind her and picked up a box of tissues from somewhere and passed it over to him

 

‘It’s ok, Robert,’ she said kindly. ‘Of course you’re going to miss Seb. It must be rubbish not having him around.’

 

‘Sorry,’ Robert mumbled, taking a tissue and blowing his nose. After half a minute or so, he felt marginally better. ‘I haven’t really talked about it, so I didn’t realise just saying it out loud would make me feel so upset.’

 

‘Don’t apologise to me,’ Vanessa smiled. ‘But haven’t you talked to Vic or Diane? You and Aaron must have spoken to each other about it…?’

 

Robert shook his head. ‘Vic and Diane have got their own lives going on, I’m not going to burden them with my problems, am I?’ he said. ‘And Aaron…’ he bit his lip as he felt himself losing control of his emotions again. ‘Aaron’s upset enough already, I don’t want to make it worse.’

 

Vanessa frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

 

‘Aaron was so upset when we lost Seb, I couldn’t talk to him about the… the void I felt inside me… the grief of not seeing my son every day…’ he blinked hard to keep the tears back. ‘I just miss him so much, it’s shit… but I’ve got to be there for Aaron, to make sure he’s alright…’

 

‘You are allowed to be upset Robert,’ Vanessa said sternly. ‘Maybe you should let Aaron support you as well…’

 

Robert shook his head determinedly. ‘No,’ he said. ‘I’ve got to be the strong one. Aaron’s background… he needs to lean on me and I’m always going to be there for him to do that… anyway, it’s my fault… I let Rebecca take Seb without speaking to Aaron… I keep letting him down…’

 

Vanessa put her hand on Robert’s arm. She smiled at him. ‘Robert,’ she said. ‘You need to stop feeling guilty. You did the right thing, letting Rebecca take Seb. She would’ve won custody in court, you know? Better to keep things on friendly terms with her and Ross than to go through all that.’

 

Robert sighed. He found it hard to shake the constant ache of guilt in the pit of his stomach. He’d cheated on Aaron, fathered a child, then removed the child from Aaron once he’d accepted and fallen in love with him. How could he expect Aaron to support him after all that?

 

‘I really think you should talk to Aaron,’ Vanessa went on. ‘He loves you, Robert. He’d want to know how much Seb’s leaving has affected you… he’d want to be the one to be strong for you this time…’

 

Robert caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall. ‘Oh God, I’ve got to go,’ he said, standing up. ‘I’ve got a meeting to get to. Thanks for the coffee…’

 

Vanessa stood up too and Robert was slightly taken aback as she wrapped her arms round him in a warm hug.

 

‘Talk to Aaron,’ she said, sounding like a strict primary school teacher.

 

‘Ok, ok,’ Robert chuckled. ‘Hey, make sure you close the door behind me this time…’

 

Vanessa made a face. ‘Yeah, yeah smartarse,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t be letting Johnny out of my sight for the rest of the day.’

 

______________________________________

 

A few hours later, Robert walked into the Mill. He was knackered after a busy day of work and it filled him with pleasure to see his husband sitting playing a computer game on the sofa.

 

‘Alright?’ Aaron said, looking up.

 

‘Yeah, glad to be home,’ Robert smiled. He went and sat down next to Aaron. 

 

‘You ok?’ Aaron frowned. He seemed to sense that Robert was feeling emotional straight away.

 

Robert bit his lip. ‘Aaron,’ he began, ‘I… er… I’m sorry I let Rebecca take Seb without talking to you… I should’ve spoken to you first… I’ve messed things up again…’

 

Aaron shifted his position and put a hand on Robert’s thigh.

 

‘Robert, you haven’t messed anything up… we’ve talked about this,’ he protested. ‘It’s done, and we’re all good…’

 

Robert rubbed his eyes with his fingers as he felt the tears springing up again. ‘It’s just… I miss him so much…’ he looked at Aaron’s concerned, open face, filled with love, and let all his pent-up feelings burst out as he started sobbing.

 

‘C’mere,’ Aaron mumbled as he pulled Robert into a hug. Aaron’s strong arms enveloped Robert and he sank into the embrace of his husband and cried.

 

‘It’s ok,’ Aaron whispered, rubbing Robert’s back gently. ‘I’ve got you.’


End file.
